Saturday, February 11, 2006
just finished lo hei-ing with the neighbours. though i dont like sashimi really, but the shouts for gd luck were funny. particular fav amongst all "walk on the streets find money!" haha. but after the afternoon playing squash at the guild house, and the hanging around at night, its time to sit down n read AGAIN.
as i plough thru endless lawr materials, i cant help but wonder for the millionth time, why am i doing this. whatever happened to pursuing your dreams and interests. whatever happened to just going ahead with doing things without having to think twice thrice and so on. time and again i would think what would life be like if i had just gone ahead to take literature and psychology here, or overseas. time and again when i see the books on my shelves now i wish they were still really literature books. i wish i was studying quotes of poets and authors instead of chief justices sometimes. i wish i was reading about beautiful people in faraway lands with beautiful imagery, instead of how you need consideration for a contract. i wish i could still see things in the ways i want to and write about them, and feeling the satisfication of doing exactly that.
but time and again, i have to return here, to the real world, where grades and prestige matters. where i cant help but try to live up to expectations. where prospects matter. where everyone tells me, you're going to have a bright future.
if that is so, let me see the light.
