Beautifully Broken

Thursday, March 30, 2006

this is how it went for moots.
this is how its gonna go for contracts tmr.

8:12 PM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like your underwear to make you feel girlish and pretty. Let's hope you're a chick.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.
The Underwear Oracle

i do quizzes at 3plus am. when im too lazy to sleep. sleeping is good you know, but getting to it is a chore. to close msn, off laptop, change (sometimes), wash up, off lights, crawl to bed etc etc. you get the drift.

3:11 AM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

special people are sent at the most unexpected occasions to bring you messages.

and i give thanks for that.

this was what striked me, a message brought by my moot partner, dear jean the dean (:

and it was at the MOST (trust me) unexpected of times, while talking about moots, that she suddenly asked about my personal life. and then she gave me a whole new perspective. im not too sure if i ever considered it in context. but this definitely got me thinking.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness?
-- 2 Corinthians 6: 14

light was shed right at that instant. and i was pleasantly surprised.
thank you (:

10:05 PM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

i think everything is really piling up. or maybe everyone. in any case, i was fucking piqued tonight. and i couldnt watch american idol and top model in peace. though i was half trying to watch nonetheless.

so, in my attempt to think of happier matters, i shall come up with a list of what to do during the three month break. the list will definitely grow, but tentatively it shall be a few main things.

1. holiday - korea, taiwan, thailand etc. everything.
2. watch the whole series of desperate housewives properly this time. plus other dvds. lots of them. dvd marathon. i love it. its therapeutic. chilling with snacks n a mug of chocolate.
3. shop. shop. shop. it's spring!
4. meet up with everyone. i am so guilty of disappearing acts. but i cross my heart!
5. spend lots of time with my family. i love home more, now that i stay away from home.
6. drive around to places where ive never been before despite singapore being so weeny. and eat all the good food around!
7. possibly exercise more. possibly. me n mummy are contemplating signing up for yoga. which is really intimidating since im the most inflexible thing around. but with all these stress, i should learn meditation.
8. appreciate time n nature, which spells picnics and fishing! plus, reading.
9. read all books i wanted to read. but had no time for.
10. hit. the. beach.
11. maybe wakeboard. though that will give me super too tan skin. and one session is kinda expensive. we'll see.
12. bake more cakes! in line with my delicious ambition.
13. oh dear, law camp.
14. visit the children's home and play with the kids. they're really the sweetest things. everyone should try it.
15. sleep more. and age slower.

ok i shall stop at a round number. will add on when i feel like it. great! im happier just thinking of these.

meanwhile reality check, tmr is moot practice again. zzz.

1:12 AM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


to bren esp and evryone else who has made the same comment:
i am NOT too picky about guys. (but even if i am, why not! how can i compromise on such things right. haha) and bren, you've finally agreed that fine dress sense is impt ANYWAY.

to qy esp and whoever else who has said so:
i am NOT high maintainence. haha i spend my own money only ok. (well maybe if i tie it back to the first point abt being picky abt guys and i find a rich husband, then i will spend my husband's money)

on a side note, my plan to sleep early has failed again. my official shut down time is now 8pm. and i wake at like 2am. shheeeeet.

1:58 AM

Saturday, March 18, 2006

memo days are overrrrr!!!!!

oh wells. it felt kinda 'unsafe' when i realised i was the only one to submit in the afternoon today for my class. but erm well. i didnt wanna be bound by it anymore. click upload n viola! freedom.

it's eleven now and im still pondering if it should be chill home or party out. lots of places to go tonight. but i have a feeling its gonna be chill home. i miss home too much nowadays.

just caught a flick. it had some funny lines which sort of made sense in its own funny way, esp since you always tried to call me your princess n you the prince or sth. well sorry im not quite into such names i think.

"there are no princes in this world. there are only assholes, and assholes who pretend to be princes"
"there are no princesses in this world. there are only witches, and witches who pretend to be princesses"

go figure. meanwhile im celebrating temporary freedom this weekend.

11:01 PM

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

chih! this is freaky man. you know over the weekend i was thinking of you-know-who, and i felt that the both of us (me n you-know-who) were on a carousel (aka merry go round). my theory deviates from yours, but i do think that yours makes a lot of sense actually. though that is precisely what i fear most. being trapped in the never ending circle with the cheery music, as though the very chirpiness of it is mocking me and my predicament.

anyways, as i was saying, i was indeed afraid to be caught in this carousel, where everything seems beautiful, riding together on the seemingly majestic horses. the scenery is captivating, the music whirls you into a dreamland, it seems like happily ever after.

or so it seemed.

then you realise that suddenly the scenery all begins to look familiar. the music seems to be so cheery it is odious. and the worst is, the wooden horses go nowhere, but in circles. never-ending circles. i'm trapped within the carousel, with history repeating itself over n over again. it's as if no matter how far we've come, we still return to the starting point of zilch. and then we try once again, to enchant ourselves into the facade of it all, the pretty ideals of perhaps love and ever after. but at the end of the day, it is all the same.

it is time to hop off the carousel. to where, i cant tell. but it will definitely be firmer ground than wheeling around with you on a "merry"-go-round. waiting endlessly as what once used to be our world fades into emptiness.

yups but chih, i still like your analogy to the centre of the universe. neat (:

2:01 PM

Saturday, March 11, 2006

You aint gonna bother me no more
No how
Love just goes so far no more
Woke up this morning
and found I didnt care for you no more
No how
Never felt so good before
Youre down to my size
Its over and done
So honey, step down from your throne
That look in your eyes
Dont bother me none
Can take or leave you alone
From my window
Skys aint grey no more
Not now
Heres the day
That Ive been waiting for
Got only one heart
One heart with no spares
Must save it for loving
Somebody who cares
So you aint gonna bother me
No more, no more

Billie Holiday

10:47 PM

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

pigging on tarts and watching america's next top model is oxymoronic. but i dont care.

nikki the great neighbour doesnt forget us when she goes out for dinner. so she buys back food from the civilised world for us stuck in the island called Kent Ridge. and so we have this bearbun. and then it loses its ears. and then its nose. and then... oh the last's just how i feel after the carnivorous experience.

11:48 PM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

from classmates to neighbours to a member of the royal family. me and mel fool!

3:16 AM

watched mrs henderson presents today with nikki n val. not too bad actually, though not as good as i expected it to be. pretty skirts, pretty props, good singing, good acting, nice breasts. the plot was alright. but nonetheless one of the better movies ive seen in a while. anyways a good part was... before the show i went to secret recipe to get a cake to eat in the theatre. then when i was paying, they told me sth too good to be true - cakes are one for one!!!!!! and so, we bought four. marble CHEESE, raspberry CHEESE, oreo CHEESE and choco banana. they rock. hehs. but im mildly sick of CHEESE for the day. just the day.

1:40 AM

Friday, March 03, 2006

sing-a-ling (:

3:55 PM

A Farewell to False Love

Farewell false love, the oracle of lies,
A mortal foe and enemy to rest,
An envious boy, from whom all cares arise,
A bastard vile, a beast with rage possessed,
A way of error, a temple full of treason,
In all effects contrary unto reason.

A poisoned serpent covered all with flowers,
Mother of sighs, and murderer of repose,
A sea of sorrows whence are drawn such showers
As moisture lend to every grief that grows;
A school of guile, a net of deep deceit,
A gilded hook that holds a poisoned bait.

A fortress foiled, which reason did defend,
A siren song, a fever of the mind,
A maze wherein affection finds no end,
A raging cloud that runs before the wind,
A substance like the shadow of the sun,
A goal of grief for which the wisest run.

A quenchless fire, a nurse of trembling fear,
A path that leads to peril and mishap,
A true retreat of sorrow and despair,
An idle boy that sleeps in pleasure's lap,
A deep mistrust of that which certain seems,
A hope of that which reason doubtful deems.

Sith then thy trains my younger years betrayed,
And for my faith ingratitude I find;
And sith repentance hath my wrongs bewrayed,
Whose course was ever contrary to kind:
False love, desire, and beauty frail, adieu.
Dead is the root whence all these fancies grew.

Sir Walter Raleigh

2:47 AM

Thursday, March 02, 2006

bathroom conversation with val.

me: i really dont know what's becoming of how people treat their relationships nowadays.
val: ya! its like nowadays all you hear about mostly seems to be how people are so unhappy with bf/gf, break up, etc.
me: yeah i dont understand why now its so easy to do things to hurt people. i dont mean doing it with the intention to hurt them per se, but they just do the things that will or might hurt the other party.
val: ya i think it's how people are nowadays, it's the society.
me: yeah and it'll never go back to how simple it was in the past anymore do you realise? we've changed so much since then, but we can never go back to being simple.
val: ya it's very sad actually, of cos there are still good people and couples out there la.
me: yeah but minority.
val: it's so much better being single if you cant find the right one.
me: yeah instead of finding a soulmate, you find trouble.

and so it is. what is the world coming to when you have to lament about how people have changed while bathing. i hope no more trouble abounds.

you're like the pandora's box. dangerous yet you used to be so alluring. but you brought every vice, pain, suffering. and shut hope away. leave our story like a myth, so that soon we may never remember the true version anymore.

1:15 AM

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

today was a day for reconsidering why i would eventually want to marry a caucasian hottie:

1) first and foremost because i've already decided long ago that when a man matures and grows older, he should be like Richard Gere. He is my choice of charming mature reliable fatherly husband.

2) because being a woman innately, i have motherly instincts. and my very strong motherly instincts tell me i must plan for my little babies even before i know where the sperms to make them will come from specifically. and most mixed bloods are good looking. most. (i dont believe i'll be so suay). and so to ensure my kiddos will be the most gorgeous things, i must find some caucasian blood to mix.

3) sex will be good. ok so i dont really know if they're bigger or what, but i mean, they say different race is exotic RIGHT.

4) because today in the library we met this rather cute and really amusing caucasian who was like the most gentlemanly guy ive seen in ages. and he spoke to us in his funnily accented chinese. see, friendly doesnt equals turn off if you just have that spark.

5) because today in town two really cute caucasian tourists were standing beside me along the road trying to flag for a cab. and one of them asked the cutest question (ok must add in cute troubled look plus charming smile simultaneously. difficult right? see, you must be non-caucasian.) "may i know how do you get a cab around here?" and i pointed to the cab stand a distance away from us. and he winked "ahhh... i see. so we're the smarter people eh? (smiles)" wicked i know. hehs.

6) oh and because we all know singapore has expensive land and expensive vehicles. and for the same price i (or my future caucasian hottie husband) can get much bigger houses and cars back in his very beautiful homeland. (dont lecture me abt patriotism cos im not born here. ah.) and also because my dream is to live in a suburban cottage, baking pastries for my neighbours and their kiddos, reading my favourite books, and taking strolls to the nearby grocery store owned by the neighbour kind and grandfatherly Uncle.... Bob or something. so, as we all know, singapore doesnt even have a real SUBURBAN to speak of. so that's that.

as a disclaimer, its not as if local guys arent any good. just that... oh they just havent proved it yet (: we'll just have to see then. enough of thinking, hubby richard is asking me to have an early night. so caring i know. ta!

2:49 AM

reaching the big two
loves God, loves home, loves life
law school

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