philophobic

2006-10-07T18:01:00.000+08:00

moved on.

bye kiddos.

2006-09-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

hiatus.

2006-09-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

three random less-known facts,

1. im from hong kong but i dont know how to play mahjong. (but i like dimsum!)

2. im done with grade 8 in piano but am not interested in a diploma

3. i like dark chocolate, i hate peppermint.

sometimes things seem the same, sometimes i feel like everything has changed. its warped that im envious, yet detestful of the past. i miss the naivety that was adolescence, i despise the decadence that was, and perhaps still in, growing up.

i feel so random.

i must be losing it.

2006-08-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

for all you unconcerned people who probably might not be very important people in my life if you dont know about this,

IM BACK IN HALL.

to sum it up:

minimalist approach this time. super few things in my room (except the family of toys hurhur). my wardrobe is freaking pathetic. i must bring more clothes here, i feel so deprived. yikes did i just say that. and i only brought TWO bags here. can you believe it. TWO. sigh. best of all, NO FOOD IN MY ROOM. yes ive changed, no more gluttony. alright theres just one bar of chocolate now but since its from the bf its not counted.

im aching all over cos of ibg basketball yday despite it was my first day being back, apparently it wasnt a valid excuse (haha) i tried to hide my sports shoes but it was to no avail. and i realised my stamina is damn bad now and im a plop of fats. (yes thank you all hallers who said my face got chubbier. that is SO cute i know)

am feeling very homesick now. or rather scv-sick, goodfood-sick, privatetoilet-sick, maid-sick. yes i hate cleaning my own room. so sue me. ok la i miss my mummy n daddy n the sister who kopes my bags n clothes once im away. and my table even. tsk i have no place in the house anymore.

the food in hall got better cos of the different caterer (thankgoodness!) and im now subjected to less peer pressure to go down for every single activity and have more time to rest n sit in front of my laptop to do crappy things like blog incoherently.

ive not gone down for supper so far. its such a huge acheivement im so proud of myself. (ok i know its just the second day, but still)

food at kent ridge campus is ten gabillion times better than btc's, though i heard arts canteen is closing!!!

if the shuttle bus timings dont get more reliable i will totally send an email or call somebody to complain. (and the damn wireless in MPA too. screwit)

and ive been seeing/hearing/receiving alot of surprised stares n "hey you're back!!" from people here, yes thankyouverymuch i AM indeed back. so everyone is welcome to give me a welcomeback gift which could be anything like food/drinks/cash. yay.

2006-08-26T04:14:00.000+08:00

what do you do,

when you have so much to say, yet the words stop at your lips,

when you have so much to ask, yet not the courage to hear the answers,

when your heart beckons you to follow, yet the mind holds you back,

when you know you have no place in this semi-charmed world, yet struggle to stay afloat?

what should you do?

me, i took the chance, for reasons of which some i know of, some i do not.

and i think, maybe,

i should start trusting, and maybe,

you will never let me down.

2006-08-19T11:12:00.000+08:00

MM says...

'The Singapore that we had - very orderly, very wholesome, very clean - is not good enough,'

...

Tourists nowadays enjoy entertainment such as the topless cabaret show Crazy Horse and the popular nightspot, Ministry of Sound.
'So we must have more of these,'

so now orderly wholesome clean, our supposedly pride in the past, just doesnt cut it no more. but will be being less decent do the job?

2006-08-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

the past couple of days saw the finishing touches of matric week, the longest-ever-to-start bbq fire, much gay, and much love. school's starting in slightly over 24 hours. i have this much time to convince myself life aint a bitch with work (again) n school will rock my socks.

2006-08-08T00:32:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.

i'll be good from now on, cross my heart.

2006-08-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

operation spring cleaning part 2 is currently on hold till further motivation.

anyhooooos, watch Click everybody! yeah i know its supposed to be a brainless comedy but i think its funny and more worth your moolah than mr super red underwear returns. plus i like adam sandler. he has this unique way of doing his lines. so just rest your brain cells for once n watch Click!

inauguration tmr. i cant believe i have to go for it. for my own year as a freshie i didnt even go for a single one of them. not nus inaug, not law inaug, not kr inaug. and tmr (i mean later) i have to totter to btc in full black n white. baaahh.

on another totally random note, my dark chocolate cravings are back again, with a vengeance this time.

2006-08-05T03:21:00.000+08:00

spring clean part one. messy messy messy.

and i realised, just for accessories-sorting and clothes packing, i'll need another long day.

gahhh i seem to love my junk.

2006-08-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

and so i went for a dental checkup today. turns out i need to extract my wisdom tooth. classic case of ignorance is bliss (ok maybe not) cos now i cant find a good time for the surgery cos school's starting and the second part of orientation prep is going on. and i have no desire to go to school with any discomfort in my mouth.

so anyhows, anyone who has extracted their wisdom teeth with a good dentist to recommend?

on another note, chatting with hall people like ken n qingyou brings back many memories of the past year. and now that fwoc has started (something that i thought i'll be a part of initially), i cant help but reminiscence. plus a simple message passed to me by an innocent ignorant third party "fwoc tmr lobby at 11". i almost cant bear to say, im not staying there anymore. but i know and i understand the reasons for leaving. its just that, neither can i forget the reasons for staying.

despite all these, im glad to have you here, putting up with all my nonsense, and always being around. thank you.

2006-07-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

maybe its the writer's block.

but, truth is, i dont want to pen down the happenings recently, simply because it is written proof of how time is passing me by.

call me chicken, i cant deal with going back to school again after these three months. and oddly, this is worse than the 8month break after Alevels. i wanted for school to start then. the endless possibilities, the promise of new forged friendships and a new life, basically.

now, all i want, is for my holidays to be longer. maybe the first year put me off. or maybe, i just no longer see myself being able to toil through all that again, and again. yet looking around me, i seem to be alone in this dreadful mess. and perhaps that is true. but ive screwed up, what can i say. things i shouldnt have done, i did. things i should have done, i did not.

and what i really want to say is,

i just want to leave,

and be away.

2006-07-21T19:31:00.000+08:00

The zoo is full of love. SDU will have more luck here than camps with warped gender ratios.

there's public display of affection.............

and even homosexuality.

then we have those who pine for lost love..........

and of course, those who drown in their sorrows.

naturally, some have better things to do than to think about romance.

animalistic love aside!

love (:

2006-07-21T17:17:00.000+08:00

2006-07-19T01:54:00.000+08:00

family

Pronunciation: 'fam-lE, 'fa-m&-

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural -lies

Etymology: Middle English familie, from Latin familia household (including servants as well as kin of the householder), from famulus servant

the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family

it's official, they're new family (:

anyhows i have a new dream car (for the moment)!!!

damn, aint it pretty!

2006-07-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

community service for flag 2006 with kids from MINDS. the girl i was bringing ard was easily the cutest kid there. she looked and act like a perfectly normal 5 year old, in fact. and she gave me a kiss at the end of everything. how sweet (: i guess seeing these children should make us cherish our lives more. after all, we're all given one life, yet they have it so much harder. the older they are, the more obvious their difference from normal kids. but i think God made each and everyone of his children special in their own ways. oh wells, hope they had fun!

2006-07-12T04:15:00.000+08:00

"It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. That cuckold lives in bliss
Who certain of his fate loves not his wronger;
But O, what damned minutes tells he o'er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet fondly loves?"

- Othello

2006-07-06T18:40:00.000+08:00

while silently lamenting the hunger pangs till dinnertime, i had an epiphany.

it would be one heck of a life i'll be living, if eating makes you lose weight. (just allow me one minute of folly)

i've come to a realisation, that apart from the babes whom i loved (and still love!) in each stage of my academic life, somehow i've managed to remember the days of our lives with... what else but FOOD (:

primary school

- fishballs i ate everyday till i puked

- fried strips of i-dunno-what-but-i-still-miss-them (hey i even dapaoed them home for my family k. wth)

- money bags

- cup noodles (which they made us transfer to bowls for fear of chemicals)

- puny cups of milo

- fried chicken wings (ok i'll admit it, i was hailed "ji chi pang gong zhu" aka chicken wing princess)

st. nicks (where the canteen is killer big)

- orange bowl. omg orange bowl. uncle mifen mian gan. yi dian dian la jiao!

- blue bowl. sheng mian was the craze for a while. ironically ive not touched it since then.

- western food! which came in much later.

- FRIED FOOD DAY. which they cruelly changed to once a freaking week, plus only alternate sides of the canteen stalls can sell fried food on weds.

- associated with the last point, the fried wanton stall. i remember every alternate wed, the 3/4faith classroom (the privileged aircon) would smell of chicken wings n fried wantons. and they were f*cking cheap really. 20cents for 3 wantons. 30cents for chickenwings. the perks of sharing a canteen with the primary kiddos.

- drink stall. newsworthy teh tarik (well it did appear on the papers). iced milo. ribena.

- toast/icecream/fruit stall. ham n cheese toast. though this one i remember once there was a strand of hair kiapped in between the toast. ugh.

- meesiam (side stalls which we bought from when queues everywhere else were too long)

- temasnack (sounds like tmd but nvm)

- fruit stall (the one n only aunty n uncle who disallows you to buy a certain drink cos u have a bad throat n insists that you drink something else)

- western food!!! (from not being able to finish the portion, to eating more than one portion. great stomach stretch)

- fried fish noodles. killer soup.

- sting ray from malay stall. gasp.

- roasted duck and 'ru dan' from (erm) chicken rice store

at the hawker centres opposite,

- duper nice duck rice.

- killer sliced fish/seafood soup

- one dollar free flow chicken rice

- very famous must wait half an hour yet not very nice char kway tiao with disgusting 'hum's

- waffles at the bakery. sighhhh.

so, food is so important it can almost write your life story! ok this entry wasnt very helpful to my hunger pangs but it kept me lost in blissful thoughts for a while. *burp (ok im kidding. i really actually have no idea how to burp to save my ass.)

2006-07-02T17:44:00.000+08:00

thanks to shuwen for this photo taken during formal dinner for law camp. its our retro pic, what with stripes n dots (: now, i just have to remember who was it we asked to help our og take our group photo.

2006-07-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

miraculously the two hectic weeks have passed in what seems like a flash now. going to school is good. it saved me lots of money, considering that right after the camp, today i resumed shopping n bought a couple of more stuff again. not to mention tmr, the day after, yadayada.

anyhows, i think law camp was rather good. distorted gender ratio aside (though it wasnt such a problem for my og, just that i had to play secret pal, sigh), i think at least i managed to get an idea of what i missed out last year. the og was good as well, no problematic freshie, they were all good kids who were adequately sporting more or less. haha.

and so, besides shopping, caught superman returns today. not too bad. just that after the flick i was feeling half dangled. i cant really tell why, but to me it seemed as if there werent any real climax or conflict between superman n the baddie. ok fine, there was sort of some fight la, but that short part ended in superman nearly dying, not triumphing over evil. and in the end the bad guy just got stranded on some random island because of a totally unrelated unsupermanish factor like erm, lack of petroleum. wheres the standard comic hero scenes, with all the fighting n superman winning the bad guy. and as for superman nearly dying cos apparently the bad guy jabbed him with some crystal fatal to superman, how did he suddenly just recover?! ok fine he is superman i know, but in the first place the crystal is deadly fatal to him isnt it. i mean, if he can just recover out of nowhere, whats the very deadly fatal crystal for in the first place.

on another random (and more personal) note, why did they make the husband of lois lane kinda not bad looking and such a good character as well. it gives me such a dilemma trying to choose whether superman ought to get lois n his son back. tsk.

oh and btw, i think that bimbo woman companion of the baddie, kinda resembles liv tyler a lil. oh wells.

ahh and thanks bren for slping on the table the past few nights. though i know u totally enjoyed dbl o. *winks.

2006-06-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

busy week with dryrun of law camp in school. foreseeing an even more hectic next week with law camp itself proper. nonetheless, always time for fooling.

bonnie and clyde. haha apparently chun loved our impersonation and thought it really looked the part. and since chun's the IC, who am i to protest. haha.

check out the first pic. i thought that blurry figure between jared and audrey looked damn freaky.

later on at mel's...

not everyone's in the pic i know. but not all of 2903 turned up anyway. of course, the most important part was that FINALLY me bren pq n teresa could sit n talk. finally. from the days when we could hang out everyday in the canteen during those maths lessons we didnt have to attend, to now where its so hard to meet up (courtesy to teresa esp, bren not included, i see bren like all the time). boy i miss those times.

2006-06-18T16:56:00.000+08:00

warning: only read this following post if you really love me a whole lot, or if you are bored to bits.

i hate pmsing. i do. granted that i dont usually get cramps, but if i do, they kinda cringe me up into a nasty furball (which really is what is happening now actually). and there's this amazing connection in my body which sort of connects the pms system to my head, which is causing my throbbing headache now as i type.

and so i seek solace in my favourite macadamia chocolates and meiji milk. which happen to make me feel even more bloated than ever (if you dont know that periods make you bloat you suck). and i hate standing n sitting repeatedly if im pmsing, which means it was kinda bad during service just now where we stood n sat n stood n sat repeatedly. and after that lunch at imperial treasure, queuing sucks. plus, i have two blister wounds from wearing heels which are killers everytime water touches them. and i hate the fact that i seem to be not typing coherently.

the thought of tuition and having to travel back to school next week makes my cramps feel worse in a supernaturalistic manner. the state of my messy room and table and floor is pissing me off. the only thing im possibly glad about is my maid returning to singapore tonight so we can all eat proper food once again instead of takeouts.

oh wells. happy fathers' day anyhow. dad dont blame me if i bet on soccer cos i totally need to mend the hole your gift burned in my pocket. gahhhh.

by the way, did i mention i hate pmsing?

2006-06-16T02:23:00.000+08:00

due to the constant torture of watching england screw its game up and seeing stick insect (crouch) prance around until he finally did some good with his heading, im too drained to even write coherently.

if a picture speaks a thousand words, well here's four thousand to go.

siloso!

2006-06-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

deeg stealing my shades/ the girls/ more girls/ poor ns man

so sorry i didnt quite get the whole gang in cos... i was too lazy to take pics.

but anyhows the most memorable thing was... the shit drinks. deeg, pls dont ever be a bartender. oh wells. anyway bye desmond, and bye to your hair. no more bad hair days for you. haha

2006-06-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

caught grease last night, which was good. how would life be if it was all like that. songs and dances. pretty dresses and summers. and to think i could bump into weishan at the indoor stadium. the songs keep playing in my head. great evening, thank you (:

mambo after that wasnt all that good though. granted it was the first time i actually ate food from zouk. not very nice, if i can remember clearly. that being said, i think this is it for the time being for clubbing. getting tired of it. looking forward to a more.... orderly life. haha

and thanks mom too for the birthday gift. love!

aights tentatively for the june babies n desmond farewell celebrations (sounds like we're glad to see him go. haha) we have two connecting suites at our disposal. other plans to be confirmed la.

2006-05-27T01:51:00.000+08:00

To: a role model, an inspiration, and most of all, a friend.

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

Can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never'

Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

2006-05-25T18:25:00.000+08:00

korea in a nutshell.

2006-05-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

my memory is failing me.

weeks ago i was thinking of what to get for mothers' day (must have been one of those think-of-anything-but-mugging times during the exams). and then after which i sort of forgot about it. until this morning i woke for church, and realised today is the service for mothers' day. and.... DAMMNIT mothers' day! and i cant even play cheat n try to coax my lil sis into letting me share her gift cos she didnt get one as well. omg we're the worst daughters in this world.

sorry mom! i swear i'll get you something tmr before we fly off to korea! i heart you (:

on a side note, goodbye singapore for now. and goodbye to you, for now.

2006-05-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

went to see qy and his big knee today. dont worry vainpot your scars dont look big at all.

i hate going out on rainy days. or walking on wet ground. anyways went to check out a country club near dhoby ghaut which i never knew existed. nice place really, tranquil yet sophiscated. quiet enough yet still modern. cant believed i touched a pool cue since goodness knows when. am surprised the balls didnt fly off the tables. lets not talk about the games though, after all, i played against a guy and you cant blame girls for not being as good (ok lets not be feminist for a minute or two). even crooned a couple of tunes at the karaoke rooms which were again very nice with plush couches. i think this explains my itching throat now. i dont see whats with my weak throat nowadays really.

cant wait to fly away from singapore on monday. make your last orders people. ive had loads of seaweed orders so far. haha.

and somehow, loss escalated into anguish, faded into oblivion.

2006-05-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

alas, what a superficial world.

anyhows, was out with deegy bird the other day n we bumped into some other pri sch friend who's older. anw the guy's not the point. the point is, he said he's in the f&b line and is going to (gasp) bring in hongkong's fishballs n shuimai (NOT the usual kind you have here in spore) and other hk snacks! yessssss. no more pining for hk fishballs n shuimai. so i really wish him success in this business for my own good. haha.

on another totally random note, i curled my hair again today. spent a good old 4 hours in there. and although many have expressed shock n bewilderment at the seemingly expensive price, i think its an alright deal for cut treatment perm. thanks to eric my rather gay yet rather manly (oxymoronic i know) stylist. haha.

2006-05-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

good news is, perhaps cos of my frantic water drinking last night, i didnt end up with a throat inflammation cum fever this morning.

bad news is, i did wake with a very very vivid nightmare. so maybe it is true that dreams reflect your greatest fears. woke with a strained feeling in my heart, heartwrench i presume. and my heart stays heavy, for how long i do not know.

i know its only been this little while. but imagining things makes me less sane. maybe it'll get better when i fly to korea next week, i dont know where all this is heading though. im less composed than i predicted. and the nightmare only made things worse. it was too real. right down to the snigger in your voice.

and so i think, mere trust just isnt enough to get me by.

but as it always turns out in the end,

its okay i dont care.

2006-05-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

late nights, booze, raised voices, junk

has taken its toll on me.

am currently feeling like crap with a sore throat and i have those, you know, vulnerable feeling like im gonna be down with some fever soon or sth. and when you feel chilly even on a windless night.

thank goodness im all set with vcds to watch in the comfort of home, at least.

and where are you, when i need you most.

2006-05-06T20:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i blame you for everything that i do these days
sometimes, i blame you for my semi-charmed life

then i remind myself, life's supposed to be better without you
and i wonder,
is this life?

2006-05-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

mascara anyone?

on a side note, im currently very disturbed cos i seemed to have passed a speed camera at about 110 last night when the limit was 90. i dont think i got caught actually... but i cant help feeling a tad disturbed. i hope not, pls not! fingers crossed.

2006-05-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

post exams in a brief

contracts suck shit. no time to finish. wrote gibberish. but i shall remain in happy denial till the results.

mambo brings the world together. met loads of SN people and fellow nus post-exams-finally people. and they really should have more places for bag deposits. and stupid pq i dont know where you disappeared to, me n jackie trekked thru the whole damn mambo crowd to look for you guys!

shopping sprees. room's packed with stuff with tags on still in their carriers. no more shopping for the month! ok, week maybe.

am really very tired. havent gotten proper sleep since contracts. which explains the lack of mood to even write coherently. but i relish in the feeling of strolling ard shopping, checking books out, and just bum around (:

2006-05-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

such posts are really in reflection of my near-taste of freedom.

not that its been hectic work. WHAT work?

but freedom equals no more guilt for no work done.

good. i like that.

screw you stupid notes.

(until the vice versa happens when i check the results.)

2006-04-29T18:09:00.000+08:00

whoa. retribution for sleeping n not mugging. i wake up to being tagged. haha by a good friend nonetheless. fine here's to you (:

1. Who are you? - kingman

2. Are we friends? - haha sure, and teammates. hahaha. friends are more than mere meeting all the time.

3. When and how did we meet? - haha omg hmm i know! same orientation group! err sec one? i have that freaky photo where we look damn toot. haha and the days where you came down to my class to see if ive ended class!

4. Do you have a crush on me? - oh yes i have a super crush on you. super.

5. Would you ever be attracted to me? - haha oh yeah! let's have our own version of brokeback! dots.

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. - blur queen! haha speaks for itself.

7. Describe me in one word. - bubbly.

8. What was your first impression? - this is tough. hmm somewhat quiet at first? (honestly i cant remember) haha but anyway if i ever thought you were quite quiet, boy was i wrong.

9. Do you still think that way about me now? - haha i answered that above already.

10. What reminds you of me? - wushu, memory loss cases (omg i remembered i freaked out that time u bumped your head!), bball, st nicks, 4 faith

11. If you could give me anything what would it be? - a new hp? (haha is yours still spoilt?). no la, if really anything, happiness?

12. How well do you know me? - hmm hard to say now cos our lives havent crossed in a while. haha shall solve this when we meet up in the hols yeah.

13. When's the last time you saw me? - couple of weeks ago at arts canteen. laksa yong tau foo i remember!

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? - i guess i can tell you almost anything. hmm that you're a friend i'll never forget? haha

15. Will you ever die for me? - HAHA lets hope it doesnt have to come to that. erps.

*edited later on: ive decided to be kind n not tag the people after all. and also cos someone's complained they cant copy n paste from here. ctrl C next time hun (:

2006-04-29T14:22:00.000+08:00

Every time I think of you

I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue

It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find

Living a life that I can't leave behind

There's no sense in telling me

The wisdom of a fool won't set you free

But that's the way that it goes

And it's what nobody knows

And every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good

I feel like I never should

Whenever I get this way,

I just don't know what to say

Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

I'm not sure what this could mean

I don't think you're what you seem

I do admit to myself

That if I hurt someone else

Then we'd never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You'll say the words that I can't say

2006-04-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

got tagged to do this. but hey seriously, anything's better than mugging for exams.

My ex is a guy.

Maybe I should screw the exams and fly overseas.

I love God, my family, and someone.

I dont understand science.

I lose track of people's birthday very often, sorry!

People say i have small eyes.

Love is patient, love is kind... check the Bible people.

Somewhere, someone cares for you.

I will always love you sounds like a song title.

Forever is an overrated hyperbolic term.

I never want to have to worry.

I think the current US President is rich.

When I wake up in the morning i check the time.

My past was something i'd rather forget.

I get annoyed when im pmsing.

Parties are for fun?

Kisses are the best when they're sweet.

Tomorrow is another trying-to-not-slack-but-might-end-up-blogging day.

I really want to travel round the world.

I have low tolerance for caffeine.

2006-04-26T22:03:00.000+08:00

this is for the people who have passed me donations to give to shufang and have in one way or another expressed their concerns. shufang's best friends have set up a blog for her where they'll keep everyone updated. http://joanchanshufang.blogspot.com

2006-04-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

seemed like just yesterday when we were all young, and carefree. its no small feat to keep together since years ago from primary school. and we're not prepared to let you fight alone now, not after all the years and the memories. glad you're home now with your most loved ones. and you'll always be in our prayers. we love you shufang! (:

2006-04-22T13:18:00.000+08:00

this is one driving experience you might never have.

and so it was, it began when i was walking to the car, pressed to unlock the car from more than a metre away, and strolling towards the driver's seat. procedure involved (all in retarded slow motion cos it was early in the morning) throwing my bag onto the seat, strolling over to the opposite side to open the compartment to take out the silly i-havent-yet-reached-one-year-after-getting-a-license signs (wait n see, im reaching one year soon, byebye signs), sticking those signs on the front, and strolling to the back to do the same.

and then finally i got into the driver's seat and started fiddling with my handphone to plug in the handsfree and all. (note that all this while i havent started the engine yet) and the door automatically locked itself cos its been a while since i unlocked it but yet i havent started the engine (ahhhh safety features). so i thought, oh biggie, im in the car anyway, you wanna auto lock then go ahead.

big mistake.

so i was cruising along out of the neighbourhood, and then i realised everytime the car passed by some little hump on the road it'll make a beeping sound. bewildered, i checked that yes its in D=Drive, yes i've released the hand brake (sorry i have a history of driving with the hand brake on n causing the back tyres to burn. yes i've breathed in much toxic rubber fumes). and so i just left myself in denial and thought ok whatever, i cant stop you from beeping.

bigger mistake.

so i reached the highway. drive.... hump (BEEPING)... drive... uneven road (BEEPING MORE)... drive... and then it came. SIREN NOISES from my car. in the middle of the highway, in the middle lane, in between everyone else... siren as in like freaking loud eeee-oooooreesss and whirling police-like sirens WHOOOOO-WHEEEEE WHOOOO-WHEEEEE.... and i was like WTF.

had to pull over on the road shoulder on a freaky bustling highway to check what the heck is wrong. i was already prepared to see some part of the car dropping off or something. (presumed the beeping was a warning and the sirens an ultimatum).

and then it hit me. i stopped the engine. took out the keys. clicked on that damn lock-unlock button to relock n unlock the car. finally the damn sirens stopped. (if you still dont understand by this point in time, MY CAR THOUGHT I WAS A CAR THIEF, remember how it auto locked as safety feature? apparently im not supposed to just ignore n start driving after it auto locks without engine running).

not to mention i had to bid my time for a while before being able to cut back into the expressway from the shoulder.

brilliant.

2006-04-12T16:03:00.000+08:00

i saw the message

and i thought of what has been in my prayers all this while,

oh God, please grant her a miracle.

2006-04-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

"we're the substitute people"

i live in denial of what i know

i thrived in the decadence

longing for the unattainable simplicity

and it's crazy, how your scent lingers

but we're the substitute people

and maybe that's why

we don't matter.

2006-04-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

mental note to self:

never ever drink on an empty stomach again.

tg settlers outing photos out soon, once i get them (i forgot my camera, whats new) and well, if i feel like it.

2006-04-04T11:19:00.000+08:00

joel's birthday, very belated.

nancy's birthday. those mahjong addicts. check out terence with a broken finger STILL playing mahjong. haha sorry nancy i HAD to put that pic. well at least you have rebec n me to accompany you in that erm, pose.

shufang's birthday. hey sf we all love you! may you and your family be richly blessed. see you soon again k! hope you had a happy time (:

2006-03-30T20:12:00.000+08:00

this is how it went for moots.

this is how its gonna go for contracts tmr.

DEAD.

2006-03-29T03:11:00.000+08:00

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like your underwear to make you feel girlish and pretty. Let's hope you're a chick.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

i do quizzes at 3plus am. when im too lazy to sleep. sleeping is good you know, but getting to it is a chore. to close msn, off laptop, change (sometimes), wash up, off lights, crawl to bed etc etc. you get the drift.

2006-03-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

special people are sent at the most unexpected occasions to bring you messages.

and i give thanks for that.

this was what striked me, a message brought by my moot partner, dear jean the dean (:

and it was at the MOST (trust me) unexpected of times, while talking about moots, that she suddenly asked about my personal life. and then she gave me a whole new perspective. im not too sure if i ever considered it in context. but this definitely got me thinking.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:

for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?

and what communion hath light with darkness?

-- 2 Corinthians 6: 14

light was shed right at that instant. and i was pleasantly surprised.

thank you (:

2006-03-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

i think everything is really piling up. or maybe everyone. in any case, i was fucking piqued tonight. and i couldnt watch american idol and top model in peace. though i was half trying to watch nonetheless.

so, in my attempt to think of happier matters, i shall come up with a list of what to do during the three month break. the list will definitely grow, but tentatively it shall be a few main things.

1. holiday - korea, taiwan, thailand etc. everything.
2. watch the whole series of desperate housewives properly this time. plus other dvds. lots of them. dvd marathon. i love it. its therapeutic. chilling with snacks n a mug of chocolate.
3. shop. shop. shop. it's spring!
4. meet up with everyone. i am so guilty of disappearing acts. but i cross my heart!
5. spend lots of time with my family. i love home more, now that i stay away from home.
6. drive around to places where ive never been before despite singapore being so weeny. and eat all the good food around!
7. possibly exercise more. possibly. me n mummy are contemplating signing up for yoga. which is really intimidating since im the most inflexible thing around. but with all these stress, i should learn meditation.
8. appreciate time n nature, which spells picnics and fishing! plus, reading.
9. read all books i wanted to read. but had no time for.
10. hit. the. beach.
11. maybe wakeboard. though that will give me super too tan skin. and one session is kinda expensive. we'll see.
12. bake more cakes! in line with my delicious ambition.
13. oh dear, law camp.
14. visit the children's home and play with the kids. they're really the sweetest things. everyone should try it.
15. sleep more. and age slower.

ok i shall stop at a round number. will add on when i feel like it. great! im happier just thinking of these.

meanwhile reality check, tmr is moot practice again. zzz.

2006-03-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

disclaimers!!

to bren esp and evryone else who has made the same comment:

i am NOT too picky about guys. (but even if i am, why not! how can i compromise on such things right. haha) and bren, you've finally agreed that fine dress sense is impt ANYWAY.

to qy esp and whoever else who has said so:

i am NOT high maintainence. haha i spend my own money only ok. (well maybe if i tie it back to the first point abt being picky abt guys and i find a rich husband, then i will spend my husband's money)

on a side note, my plan to sleep early has failed again. my official shut down time is now 8pm. and i wake at like 2am. shheeeeet.

2006-03-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

memo days are overrrrr!!!!!

oh wells. it felt kinda 'unsafe' when i realised i was the only one to submit in the afternoon today for my class. but erm well. i didnt wanna be bound by it anymore. click upload n viola! freedom.

it's eleven now and im still pondering if it should be chill home or party out. lots of places to go tonight. but i have a feeling its gonna be chill home. i miss home too much nowadays.

just caught a flick. it had some funny lines which sort of made sense in its own funny way, esp since you always tried to call me your princess n you the prince or sth. well sorry im not quite into such names i think.

"there are no princes in this world. there are only assholes, and assholes who pretend to be princes"

"there are no princesses in this world. there are only witches, and witches who pretend to be princesses"

go figure. meanwhile im celebrating temporary freedom this weekend.

2006-03-15T14:01:00.000+08:00

chih! this is freaky man. you know over the weekend i was thinking of you-know-who, and i felt that the both of us (me n you-know-who) were on a carousel (aka merry go round). my theory deviates from yours, but i do think that yours makes a lot of sense actually. though that is precisely what i fear most. being trapped in the never ending circle with the cheery music, as though the very chirpiness of it is mocking me and my predicament.

anyways, as i was saying, i was indeed afraid to be caught in this carousel, where everything seems beautiful, riding together on the seemingly majestic horses. the scenery is captivating, the music whirls you into a dreamland, it seems like happily ever after.

or so it seemed.

then you realise that suddenly the scenery all begins to look familiar. the music seems to be so cheery it is odious. and the worst is, the wooden horses go nowhere, but in circles. never-ending circles. i'm trapped within the carousel, with history repeating itself over n over again. it's as if no matter how far we've come, we still return to the starting point of zilch. and then we try once again, to enchant ourselves into the facade of it all, the pretty ideals of perhaps love and ever after. but at the end of the day, it is all the same.

it is time to hop off the carousel. to where, i cant tell. but it will definitely be firmer ground than wheeling around with you on a "merry"-go-round. waiting endlessly as what once used to be our world fades into emptiness.

yups but chih, i still like your analogy to the centre of the universe. neat (:

2006-03-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

You aint gonna bother me no more

No how

Love just goes so far no more

Woke up this morning

and found I didnt care for you no more

No how

Never felt so good before

Youre down to my size

Its over and done

So honey, step down from your throne

That look in your eyes

Dont bother me none

Can take or leave you alone

From my window

Skys aint grey no more

Not now

Heres the day

That Ive been waiting for

Got only one heart

One heart with no spares

Must save it for loving

Somebody who cares

So you aint gonna bother me

No more, no more

Billie Holiday

2006-03-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

pigging on tarts and watching america's next top model is oxymoronic. but i dont care.

nikki the great neighbour doesnt forget us when she goes out for dinner. so she buys back food from the civilised world for us stuck in the island called Kent Ridge. and so we have this bearbun. and then it loses its ears. and then its nose. and then... oh the last's just how i feel after the carnivorous experience.

2006-03-07T03:16:00.000+08:00

from classmates to neighbours to a member of the royal family. me and mel fool!

2006-03-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

watched mrs henderson presents today with nikki n val. not too bad actually, though not as good as i expected it to be. pretty skirts, pretty props, good singing, good acting, nice breasts. the plot was alright. but nonetheless one of the better movies ive seen in a while. anyways a good part was... before the show i went to secret recipe to get a cake to eat in the theatre. then when i was paying, they told me sth too good to be true - cakes are one for one!!!!!! and so, we bought four. marble CHEESE, raspberry CHEESE, oreo CHEESE and choco banana. they rock. hehs. but im mildly sick of CHEESE for the day. just the day.

2006-03-03T15:55:00.000+08:00

sing-a-ling (:

2006-03-03T02:47:00.000+08:00

A Farewell to False Love

Farewell false love, the oracle of lies,

A mortal foe and enemy to rest,

An envious boy, from whom all cares arise,

A bastard vile, a beast with rage possessed,

A way of error, a temple full of treason,

In all effects contrary unto reason.

A poisoned serpent covered all with flowers,

Mother of sighs, and murderer of repose,

A sea of sorrows whence are drawn such showers

As moisture lend to every grief that grows;

A school of guile, a net of deep deceit,

A gilded hook that holds a poisoned bait.

A fortress foiled, which reason did defend,

A siren song, a fever of the mind,

A maze wherein affection finds no end,

A raging cloud that runs before the wind,

A substance like the shadow of the sun,

A goal of grief for which the wisest run.

A quenchless fire, a nurse of trembling fear,

A path that leads to peril and mishap,

A true retreat of sorrow and despair,

An idle boy that sleeps in pleasure's lap,

A deep mistrust of that which certain seems,

A hope of that which reason doubtful deems.

Sith then thy trains my younger years betrayed,

And for my faith ingratitude I find;

And sith repentance hath my wrongs bewrayed,

Whose course was ever contrary to kind:

False love, desire, and beauty frail, adieu.

Dead is the root whence all these fancies grew.

Sir Walter Raleigh

2006-03-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

bathroom conversation with val.

me: i really dont know what's becoming of how people treat their relationships nowadays.

val: ya! its like nowadays all you hear about mostly seems to be how people are so unhappy with bf/gf, break up, etc.

me: yeah i dont understand why now its so easy to do things to hurt people. i dont mean doing it with the intention to hurt them per se, but they just do the things that will or might hurt the other party.

val: ya i think it's how people are nowadays, it's the society.

me: yeah and it'll never go back to how simple it was in the past anymore do you realise? we've changed so much since then, but we can never go back to being simple.

val: ya it's very sad actually, of cos there are still good people and couples out there la.

me: yeah but minority.

val: it's so much better being single if you cant find the right one.

me: yeah instead of finding a soulmate, you find trouble.

and so it is. what is the world coming to when you have to lament about how people have changed while bathing. i hope no more trouble abounds.

you're like the pandora's box. dangerous yet you used to be so alluring. but you brought every vice, pain, suffering. and shut hope away. leave our story like a myth, so that soon we may never remember the true version anymore.

2006-03-01T02:49:00.000+08:00

today was a day for reconsidering why i would eventually want to marry a caucasian hottie:

1) first and foremost because i've already decided long ago that when a man matures and grows older, he should be like Richard Gere. He is my choice of charming mature reliable fatherly husband.

2) because being a woman innately, i have motherly instincts. and my very strong motherly instincts tell me i must plan for my little babies even before i know where the sperms to make them will come from specifically. and most mixed bloods are good looking. most. (i dont believe i'll be so suay). and so to ensure my kiddos will be the most gorgeous things, i must find some caucasian blood to mix.

3) sex will be good. ok so i dont really know if they're bigger or what, but i mean, they say different race is exotic RIGHT.

4) because today in the library we met this rather cute and really amusing caucasian who was like the most gentlemanly guy ive seen in ages. and he spoke to us in his funnily accented chinese. see, friendly doesnt equals turn off if you just have that spark.

5) because today in town two really cute caucasian tourists were standing beside me along the road trying to flag for a cab. and one of them asked the cutest question (ok must add in cute troubled look plus charming smile simultaneously. difficult right? see, you must be non-caucasian.) "may i know how do you get a cab around here?" and i pointed to the cab stand a distance away from us. and he winked "ahhh... i see. so we're the smarter people eh? (smiles)" wicked i know. hehs.

6) oh and because we all know singapore has expensive land and expensive vehicles. and for the same price i (or my future caucasian hottie husband) can get much bigger houses and cars back in his very beautiful homeland. (dont lecture me abt patriotism cos im not born here. ah.) and also because my dream is to live in a suburban cottage, baking pastries for my neighbours and their kiddos, reading my favourite books, and taking strolls to the nearby grocery store owned by the neighbour kind and grandfatherly Uncle.... Bob or something. so, as we all know, singapore doesnt even have a real SUBURBAN to speak of. so that's that.

as a disclaimer, its not as if local guys arent any good. just that... oh they just havent proved it yet (: we'll just have to see then. enough of thinking, hubby richard is asking me to have an early night. so caring i know. ta!

2006-02-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

There's a girl in the mirror

I wonder who she is

Sometimes I think I know her

Sometimes I really wish I did

There's a story in her eyes

Lullabies and goodbyes

When she's looking back at me

I can tell her heart is broken easily

'Cause the girl in my mirror

Is crying out tonight

And there's nothing I can tell her

To make her feel alright

Oh the girl in my mirror

Is crying 'cause of you

And I wish there was something

Something I could do

If I could I would tell her

Not to be afraid

The pain that she's feeling

The sense of loneliness will fade

So dry your tears and rest assured

Love will find you like before

When she's looking back at me

I know nothing really works that easily

'Cause the girl in my mirror

Is crying out tonight

And there's nothing I can tell her

Oh the girl in my mirror

Is crying 'cause of you

And I wish there was something I could do

I can't believe it's what I see

That the girl in the mirror

The girl in the mirror

Is me

shuffling songs on the ipod and hearing songs which used to be so familiar.

2006-02-11T01:28:00.000+08:00

just finished lo hei-ing with the neighbours. though i dont like sashimi really, but the shouts for gd luck were funny. particular fav amongst all "walk on the streets find money!" haha. but after the afternoon playing squash at the guild house, and the hanging around at night, its time to sit down n read AGAIN.

as i plough thru endless lawr materials, i cant help but wonder for the millionth time, why am i doing this. whatever happened to pursuing your dreams and interests. whatever happened to just going ahead with doing things without having to think twice thrice and so on. time and again i would think what would life be like if i had just gone ahead to take literature and psychology here, or overseas. time and again when i see the books on my shelves now i wish they were still really literature books. i wish i was studying quotes of poets and authors instead of chief justices sometimes. i wish i was reading about beautiful people in faraway lands with beautiful imagery, instead of how you need consideration for a contract. i wish i could still see things in the ways i want to and write about them, and feeling the satisfication of doing exactly that.

but time and again, i have to return here, to the real world, where grades and prestige matters. where i cant help but try to live up to expectations. where prospects matter. where everyone tells me, you're going to have a bright future.

if that is so, let me see the light.

2006-02-10T16:12:00.000+08:00

frigging stupid.

read the wrong readings for crim law. ok so i didnt finish reading them anyway, but still i read like 3/4 of the designated readings. why, cos i forced myself to stay awake till i couldnt anymore. oh, and why i read the wrong readings? cos i frigging didnt pay attention during crim last session and missed him saying that we're gonna skip a topic. in case you didnt know, read wrong readings, doesnt mean that he's doing what i read another time, it means, he's scraping this topic from the exams, it means, i wasted my whole day doing zilch.

and im hungry now. a hungry (king) man is an unhappy (king) man.
shooooooooot.

2006-02-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing i really need, its discipline.

was supposed to read legal theory, no i went for ihg closing.
was supposed to read legal theory after ihg closing, no i went MOS
was supposed to feel really guilty and do some readings the day after MOS, no i went TGIO
was supposed to be feeling really REALLY guilty now, no im blogging, and contemplating going for supper.

if there's one thing i really need, it IS discipline.

on a side note, ever felt like you had something watching you all the time, something at the back of your head, something disturbing, something bad you can just feel it?

oh wait, its called LAWR.

2006-02-07T17:04:00.000+08:00

haha nikki asleep in my room a while after trying to read notes. as you can see, the notes are actually below her head so you must give her due credit for trying to absorb her notes into her head thru diffusion or osmosis.

and meanwhile, im trying very very hard not to cough so as not to disturb that very scientific process of learning. *stifles another cough.

such is varsity life.

2006-02-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

MY HANDS ARE TREMBLING!

the million dollar question: do panadols have side effects? damn.

2006-01-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

this happens when lawr gets too boring... you clean white bags that you uncontrollably bought. and you show bren your phone can edit photos, and psycho her to buy it as well. on a side note, im so peeved the price has seemed to drop. just like my digicam whom others buy for half price, phone prices drop in weeks too. i mean, dont they have a saying "early bird gets the (GOOD) worm"?! no, you see, you just get the shit deal. you pay more, and feel cheated.

2006-01-28T21:20:00.000+08:00

im curling up in a non aircon room, quilt over myself, and trying to actually get warmth from my trusty laptop's heat. thank God i still have my sense of taste so i didnt waste my reunion dinner food. i hear mahjong outside and my kiddo cousin is asking me to play incredible 4 on xbox. i said no thanks n he looked abit down, then turned his attention to my sister (who's incredibly reading her bio text on new yr's eve). my sister said no to his offer too, and he asked exasperatedly "why not!!" then my sister said "im studying". and my kiddo cousin went, "what sort of EXCUSE is that!" oh wells, if only i was still a kid whose only worry is making sure Dash can get pass his obstacles.

yups, ive got a fever. on new yr's eve. and ive an assignment due 2359h later. how sick (both meanings intended) is that.

i suspect my fever is due to the shrimp paste chicken supper at kr, and the bbq at chris's hse last night. not your fault chris, serious. im just complaining, cos its new year.

i gave up editing my assignment in the afternoon just now, and resigned myself to eating brownies (killing myself), and watching tv. that was until i couldnt stand the harsh coldness in the living room anymore. am feeling a bit woozy at the moment, ate the wrong kind of panadol. i mean, it said 'panadol extra'. naturally i would presume it to be the normal fever-curbing one, just the normal ingredients times two or something right. who knows panadol extra is only for pain relief and not fever. feeling absolutely boinked out. (maybe there isnt such a word, but yeah, i AM feeling 'boinked' out)

now its like every move i make requires three times of my normal strength, and every cough is linked to a headache. now my only consolation is, i hope my lack of appetite can help me lose weight.

anyhows i cant believe that we have a snow white assignment for lawr due in class on thurs. im sure we're all non chinese who dont happen to have relatives to visit and good food to eat.

im getting pins and needles from my current typing position already.

happy new year.

2006-01-18T01:55:00.000+08:00

think i should really start selling my stuff online. the shopping is getting a little out of hand. i shop even in school. i have a million items with tags still on in my rooms, both hall and home. who knows, i could make a business out of this!

have been good on resolution number 3b on my list. which is wake early. (3a is sleep early, working on it) which means i've been eating hall breakfast. lets just see how many permutations n combinations i can come up with for the choice of breakfast in hall. meanwhile, as with all other new year resolutions, the other points haven't quite materialised.

and by the way.

i told you, that in the end, i will still have the last laugh.

so, don't you run back to where you began, because then the process would have been for nothing.

on a very very side note, i really havent found a way for liking lawr assignments.

oops its 2:06am.

mental note: resolution 3a.

2006-01-10T14:02:00.000+08:00

bad morning.

matches on a public holiday, rain rain rain, being disappointed by the game, rain rain rain, no proper lunch, rain rain rain.

bad morning.

i wish you could make it better.

2006-01-03T02:47:00.000+08:00

colorgenics personal profile

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.

You are worn out - suffering from what has been described as 'burnout' and nothing seems to stimulate you to break away from this state of lethargy. This situation is causing an acute distress situation and not being able immediately to resolve the problems is exposing you to excess stress and tension. You are endeavouring to break away from this situation by withdrawing into a state of 'Never Never Land' - an illusory substitute world in which things could be as you would like them to be. Now is the time to take time-out - to relax. A short break is all that you need and you will find that matters will resolve themselves.

how this, really makes me wonder.

2005-12-20T16:19:00.000+08:00

ah ha! im back! with perfect ten crooning "thank God its Christmas" now. YES, thank God its Christmas soon! my favourite festive day! yesssssss!

had a nasty flu not long after i was in hk. am a sunshine kid, cant stand the harsh winter cold. ugh. and the polluted air made it hard to breathe. first day was good. spent 4 hours at esprit and spent a grand total of 800 spore dollars. first day eh. (honestly i had a fright when i saw the sum at the cashier)

and then it got colder n colder, even with the heater in the house. brrrr. there was more (but calmer n more controlled) shopping. disneyland was alright only, since only the first phase is open till two years later, so the rides were really tailored for kids. think rotating tea cups n wooden horses and a hardly exciting rollercoaster. oh wells. grabbed a couple of mickeyish stuff over there. like the ear mufflers and the BBBBBEEEEEGGGGGG mickey hands i always wanted to get. hurhur. and we were trying to play scissors paper stone with it, attracting much unwanted attention. winks. the fake snow at disneyland was FOAM. ugh, as compared to the manmade real (oxymoronic i know) snow in ocean park. waited one good hour for the fireworks which were.... alright. think i wont step back into disneyland till its fully opened. checked out the disneyland hotels though, after a super long walk. it was... well, mickeyish.

ate a good lot of good food. was never hungry for the whole trip. and we sadistic twits ate ice cream on purpose in the cold. i love yam ice cream. it can be my staple food. ok plus the fishballs and shiu mai (not the kind in spore). got a little scared of yumcha-ing after the fourth day though. and the cold made me miss home singapore. i officially announced that i would rather die of a heatstroke than in the harsh cold (a decision which got overruled this morning during bball ihg training in the sun)

the fashion really rocks over there. and i dont even know why there are so many goodlooking guys. its like, i walk on the streets, every few minutes i see a cute or cool guy. on the train, on the buses, vans. well, everywhere. maybe its the fashion, even average looking guys or girls dress well generally. their fashion is elaborate such that, either you're damn stylish or you really suck shit. and most of them (at least the young people) are stylish. or maybe its winter, where you have more clothes on you. but still, more clothes but they're still NICE clothes. speaking of winter, there was such a wide range of boots, which will never see the light of day in singapore. so (as i said, i shopped more calmly after the esprit hoo-ha), no boots for us.

another thing i noticed, as opposed to the closing trend of pacific coffee joints over here (think citilink), there are sooo many of them in hk. and they're all nice. just that, i dont like coffee. haha. wells, bbq on the second last night was waaaaaaaay... windy. hahah the food was good, so was the atmosphere with everyone around you all bbqing. groups and groups of people by the sea (thats why it was blardy windy). one of the pits became my fireplace to warm our hands. hurhur.

well, that's about it isnt it, shop eat sneeze shop eat sneeze in hk. photos when i feel like it. ta!

2005-12-08T15:30:00.000+08:00

mambo last night was, i should say, eventful. almost classified it as the worst second to dxo the other time. but anyhows it was salvaged by the very amusing incidents towards the end of the night. so it was okay after all nonetheless.

the start was really boring, yawned a grand total of who-knows how many times. drinks were overpriced cos one-on-one havent started yet. went duper early to skip the queue. but ended up having to wait for the others queuing anyways. met a thousand and one familiar faces, many long lost. but anyhows when eleven came it became frigging crowded and the dance floor started to finally get filled, albeit with sweaty individuals soon enough.

anyhows the worst part started when we had to squeeze in and out of the crowd ten million times just to get to the bar, get to the loo, get to this get to that. didnt help that each time we came back to the dance floor we couldnt find the others cos apparently they got squeezed to a corner (NOT SAME SPOT MY DEAR PQ). and between all that jostling through the crowd feets were stepped on ten gazillion times. partying with a huge group always has its downs, by the time you come back from a loo trip and finally found the rest of the group, another person would wanna make a trip to the loo or bar again. great. and so that was how it got a little off for the night.

luckily, the night went on with slightly more amusing smses and incidents. and we had a heck of a laugh on the dance floor onlooking very reeeeally retro-ish dancing. there came a point where we just couldnt take it no more n gave in to laughing fits altogether admist the dancing (or wriggling) crowd. BUT all in good faith ok. i guess whatever happens on the night, is kept to the night. thats that.

the end was a little of a trouble again, what with sitting and standing around waiting for who-knows-what. then the mercz cab refusing to take five people back to hall. and how after that there was this big problem about who can drive the car parked at hall and who to sleep where what not. you see ironically when there are more people, its harder to get the decisions quick. two (or more) minds are not necessarily better than one sometimes. to add on to the jabs, it poured.... with my laundry hanging out in hall.

anyhows as i said it was an eventful night, with waking this afternoon welcomed by many many smses with questions. "are you ok?" "hangover?" "what happened last night?" "what did you see?" "who did you tell?" "why........." --- yawns.

oh wells, off to pepper lunch soon.

2005-12-06T15:50:00.000+08:00

post exams so far has been a quick thing. shop, flicks, catching up, and suddenly ihg trainings have started and im actually blogging in hall now cos i.am.so.freaking.tired i cant drag myself to anywhere. i have trainings every single day except sundays, today is tues, and trust me, my whole bod is aching already. cant imagine two trainings back to back tmr. to think i should be going mambo tmr night. omg chih says "can dance better with wobbly legs!" ahhhh. thanks. but well, thank goodness im escaping to hk soon. rest for ten days at least (:

law bash was alright anyhows. nothing spectacular but wasnt as bad as dxo.

went ginza with val an hr ago after bball, was supposed to go little india but figured it was too far. searched highhhhh and looooow for the damn saloon thats supposed to be beside 7-11 so that we can do our brows which incidentally looks like LA BI XIAO XIN's now. but we ended up passing by the same shops over and over again, till we gave up and sat in macs for ice cream. which unfortunately destroyed whatever training we went through in the morning. great!

was just wondering if i preferred sentosa in the day or night. sentosa last night was almost like ghost town. no one was around at all, except the ticket lady when we drove in (duh like singapore ever gives you a chance to enter any place for free). it was just so damn quiet except for some damn i-dunno-what possible insect squeaking and freaking me out a couple of times. even the bars were empty. but day is good, sun sand and the beach. (and more revenue to speak of, for that matter). weather these days is crazy. when it rains it pours, literally. yet this morn i thought i would die of a heat stroke somewhere on the track.

btw the new tagboard is really one heck of a twit. wait till i settle it when i finally feel like it. meanwhile i shall find solace in honeystars!

2005-11-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

i might slap/punch/kick the next person who askes me how torts was.

disclaimer: i absolutely have zilch intention to cause any personal injury. it was just a traumatizing incident. lesson of how you get screwed when you bum around too much (especially in a faculty full of freak muggers). on a brighter note, i will not have to look at jones and kidner anymore, IF i actually pass the module.

contract is next friday and i can hardly imagine slogging another week. now if only i've ever tried to attempt the tutorials. sorry brrrrrrrrton. i will try harder next sem *cross my fingers.

afterwhich, i shall leave all these and live in denial till the results are out. am returning to my homeland to:

- shop

- visit new disneyland

- eat eat eat

- shop some more

- eat some more

- play some more

can start informing me what you guys want from there already. (just dont remind me your exams are over, or ask me how my exams were -- refer to disclaimer)

meanwhile, i shall stick to my recipe of mtv, honeystars and milk to calm down, works better than yoga, trust me.

2005-11-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

yet another month has past, i miss the smiles we all used to have.

for all who have known me long n well enough, you know when i say im screwed for something, i do mean i AM screwed for that. for that matter, this time i think there is no more scraping thru the exams. yes they are here again. and this time, i smell much trouble brewing.

why do they expect us to mug like crazy within first three months of school? first it was play, then more play, then binder, and viola, its the end of a freaking semester. i am NOT in the mood for writing coherently.

you know what, i should be starting on singapore legal system now.

2005-10-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

things have been a whole flurry mess these couple of weeks. met mag outside the library just now and she said i look shagged. BINDER YOU SUCK YOU HAVE CAUSED ME TO LOOK UGLY.

legend of zorro with chris last night or shld i say this morning (1215 flick). now i remember why i liked catherine zeta jones (: home at three, hot bath till 4 (since hall shower is so not hot), and tried bindering again. until i kept falling asleep for like twenty times at typing "Strunk v. Strunk". thank God there's hols next week, albeit still having to do bindering. just make my day.

i need more time, and more excitement, and more fun.

2005-10-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor)

You're logical, driven, and ruthless.
You'd make a mighty fine lawyer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

2005-10-13T11:58:00.000+08:00

i see i must blog more to push the below entries away from visible sight. i guess after all these ive finally more or less seen through it. maybe it was two wrong people, with clashing personalities. or perhaps two right people at the wrong time, with me entering uni. nonetheless, there was something wrong which caused the eventual end, and its all too bad then.

anyhows, i really love these people (:

peiqin - you're always there and i know no matter what wacky thing i tell you, you can always accept it because, you're even wackier. hahaha. but thanks babe for being there at the worst of times, for understanding how i feel and yet trying to bring me to my senses. im really glad i met you. stop fretting over your.... various you know. hahaha

brenda - haha stupid woman thanks for your insightful comments about men and thanks for always plopping on my room floor to accompany me (not withstanding the fact that you need a place to slack n slp as well)

teresa - its been super long since ive seen you babe. but thanks for offering to organise boycotts and all sorts of revengeful plans. haha pls meet up soon!

chih - hey babe! thanks so much for the nydc cheesecake! and offering your rm for bunking in! haha love listening to your scandal(s) and hrmm replying ON your msn! haha thanks for listening and letting me know that some people are just, not worth it. i love you!

mel - hello neighbour! haha thanks for your milk (or shld i thank john) and all your "he's such a girl!" comments. haha seeing you n john sometimes makes me feel that relationships arent such a torture afterall. hrmm. haha and stop spelling darth vader wrongly.

zexi - haha another one which i seldom see but always there. thanks for your smses all the way from down under. you're really one good pal.

christopher - i dont think you will see this actually, haha but thanks for your daily smses and updates about your navy life. i feel like im in NS too, you're not alone! and where is my chick? hrmm.

chris (thammy) - thanks for your coffeebean cheesecake! it was really a pleasant surprise! haha ok you're my fav male squash capt (then again i only have one)

wilson - haha hello thanks for your mango dessert and offering your laptop for watching sweet november (can i watch corpse bride as well?) haha yeaps, thanks for listening to all my looong stories.

ken - tsk. i dunno why i see you then i think of "diu". seems like you say it most often. haha but anyways, thanks for your chocs n mango drink (although i did feel kinda retarded to count to 20 when you asked me to). and also the banana controversy. p/s that day i saw banana boxers. was so tempted to buy to disiao you. haha you another one so happy with gf like mel n john, that makes me so amazed. 50 months and no big fights? haha you better teach me how. hrmm.. do buy me something from bali end of the yr! (pray no bombs)

denise - dunno if you'll read this, but thanks girl for reminding me that certain things arent worth the effort. i wish you'll stay more in hall ): but i guess if you can get a car, its a better deal!

wm - hahahaha thanks for the eggtarts. and i wanna shop soon pls

albert - you really suck (i know you dont know my blog) and no integrity. haha but thanks for cooking supper n buying yakult. haha although its been a long time since i talked to you abt vampire show.

if i left you out and you think i really shld thank you, haha let me know. and i'll decide whether to add you in. haha. meanwhile i see a fly on my window. must catch.

2005-10-09T16:43:00.000+08:00

so painful. so so so painful. so hurting. whats there to be done. so painful. how and when can this stop. when can the pain stop. when is this going to stop hurting. so damn painful. smiled and said goodbye didnt i. people say its ok. people say its just this period. this period is so long. its not ok. i despise this. i hate this. i dont like this. its so hard. so difficult. taking so long. deleting the smses is painful. reading the emails is painful. seeing the photos is painful. being reminded of you is painful. the final talk was painful. and i see how ugly things have turned into from what was so beautiful. you say you regret it. i regret everything too. if ive ruined your life, you did that to mine too. and its about to stop. and then it'll really be ok. and then i'll look back and feel nothing. and then i will be heartless towards you. you said i dont understand you, i said you dont either. you think im angry with you, im not. i hate to admit that i always have a soft spot towards you. but two months is enough time for brooding. and from now on, please just let me off. i just want to be happy, without you. thank you for your love, it hurts me too much.

2005-10-08T14:21:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to take more than give in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

2005-10-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy.
You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

smart aleck? biggest personality? *rolls laughing

2005-10-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

"forced to break up with someone..." haha. sigh.

2005-10-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

Time, sometimes the time just slips away

And your left with yesterday

Left with the memories

I, I'll always think of you and smile

And be happy for the time I had you with me

Though we go our seperate ways

I won't forget so don't forget

The memories we made

Please remember, please remember

I was there for you

And you were there for me

Please remember, our time together

The time was yours and mine

And we were wild and free

Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye,

there's just no sadder word to say

And it's sad to walk away

With just the memories

Who's to know what might have been

We'll leave behind a life and time

We'll never know again

Please remember, please remember

I was there for you

And you were there for me

And remember, please remember me

Please remember, please remember

I was there for you

And you were there for me

Please remember, our time together

The time was yours and mine

And we were wild and free

And remember, please remember me

And how we laugh and how we smile

And how this world was yours and mine

And how no dream was out of reach

I stood by you, you stood by me

We took each day and made it shine

We wrote our names across the sky

We ride so fast, we ride so free

And I had you and you had me

Please remember, Please remember

2005-10-05T13:39:00.000+08:00

im not as happy as i should be just because...

- behind my smile there's a broken heart

- behind my faith for the future there's a hidden past

- behind closed doors there're tears falling

- behind a strong facade there's a lost soul

- behind my daily routine lies escapism

- behind my disdain there is still hurt

and behind all denial, i still feel the pain.

no more brooding. squash trials tonight (:

whoever said geminis dont really have split personalities.

2005-10-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

haha now you know, quizzes aren't always accurate.

2005-09-25T02:17:00.000+08:00

i am fully utilising the wireless in my house (: loves it.

met up with zexi n chris just now. and im so glad we had a car. finally stepped into town like since forever. and met like alot of people. hrmm. spore's really kinda small. anyways i cant believe even on weekends, i have prata for supper. hahahah

zexi is still the same, as usual. chris seemed to have gotten a little less crazy. haha or maybe we're all tired. me.. i just got fatter. shudders.

i just had to buy something at flash n splash cos it was like 15percent off and its the last day. usually i would have known abt the sale. and this time i only came across it so late?! and it was so freaking crowded its so hard to shop. argh, this is what island NUS does to you.

gotta get val's present. anddddd watch ana n ron tmr at gombak. i am so dead. torts is so dead. sch is sucky ): grrrrrr.

i wish i had the ability to make time stop. then i could save what could have been. andddd i'll have time to at least try to mug. groans.

2005-09-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

to think im so sick of trying to study that im blogging an entry. (keyword: trying). i think my torts is really dead. but nonetheless, im due to go out in abt an hour. i think school is getting kinda stressful. i dont know, its only like the start of the second month. and pq is in japan?! while im slogging out here, TRYING to do some work. and i can guarantee my thoughts arent coherent. woops.

hall bash was ooooo...kay. not that bad i guess. definitely better than TH's. although the music at first was really kind of... slow.. and abit cheesy (backstreet's back?), at least it isnt trance. thank goodness.

we sent joan off at the airport ): we'll miss you!

its already been more than a month. and i do miss you, albeit less and less each day. if you ever see this, i can only say sorry. and if you want to blame me, i cant stop you.

there there, shreds of my thoughts.

2005-08-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

i have this premonition that i wont have a blogging mood anytime soon. but since its been really rather stagnant. i must do my part.

- temasek hall bash at DXO last night really was BAD. the music is trance-like, there was absolutely no one dancing, they spent like a good half hour with lights fully on shifting equipment n mopping the floor. moved to chinablack after that which we mistakenly thought was free entry. and hence, after all the cabbing etc. im so broke. law bash tonight is at DXO again. hrm.

- IBG soon. i cant imagine training at 6am. i have this bump on my forehead, ache on my neck and bruises on my knees, due to frisbee. but i like frisbee (:

- am feeling absolutely like a slacker as compared to the other law people. i havent read any notes!

2005-08-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

i am shagged! seriously. after i got home from rag on sat i slept like 14hours straight man. the night before rag i hardly slept a wink. was at the biz rag site bringing some of them milk n cereal. courtesy of my hall room. haha. rag day itself was tiring. scorching hot sun. juggling between biz, kent ridge and law.

by the way, for those who dont already know (where have you been?!), i've transferred to law faculty. i miss the people in biz though. there're quite a handful of st nicks people in law actually, but guess cos i didnt attend law camp n most of the orientation, i dont feel the whole law thing yet. somehow i feel that law is a little segregated from the rest of the school, worse when we shift to bukit timah campus next yr. lectures actually start tmr. with my screwed up timetable, which i apparently dont get to choose, unlike in biz. but i guess its God's grace that i was given this chance to pursue what i wanted to study in the first place. i just pray that it'll all go well.

anyways off i am to marina to watch fireworks tmr! (: hope it doesnt get too crowded.

2005-07-21T13:34:00.000+08:00

i'm in Block E in KR. i think mel is too, right? haha. but i'll be missing most of the camp anyways, cos of piano exam, and cos i seriously feel that 2 weeks is too damn long for a camp. well, if i hear that the camp's good then i'll go on either fri or sat, if it isnt, then too bad, i'll go on monday, when school starts. damn i cant believe school's starting, finally.

2005-07-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my driving test.

it started raining, no, POURING, the minute i was walking to the test car.

the first thing he tested was the damn ramp.

and for the first time throughout all my ramp practices, one wheel went up first and the whole car rocked like a rollercoaster. it wobbled like crazy. and i could hardly see clearly out of the windows cos of the torrential rain. i've never driven in rain before.

after all these nerve-wrecking shit, and watching the examiner look through my checklist, im sorry to say that.....

you guys can endanger your lives by sitting in my car! yay i passed! wahaha. muacks.

2005-07-13T02:50:00.000+08:00

whats left of a couple when the passion's gone?

for all this time, when i see an old couple together holding hands or walking together blissfully, i thought maybe true love does exist after all. love that lasts after the initial passion fades, love that endures the tests of time, love that surpasses the cruelties of this world.

BUT. (there is always a 'but' boys n girls.) who really knows what went on in that supposedly loving couple's lives?

maybe they each had affairs to satisfy their selfish selfs earlier on in the relationship, and each didnt know or didnt mind about the other's affairs. and as they always like to say, ignorance (or feign ignorance) is bliss. and so now we see them, hand in hand, smiling as they walk in the park, hiding a frivolous past.

or of course (sorry guys i just had to think this way), maybe the man had an affair(s) and the woman forgave him after she found out. probably cos she so called loved him too much, or maybe women just tend to act silly in certain matters of the heart. thats why now we see them (again) hand in hand, smiling as they walk in the park. this time, the woman trying to bury a past she would rather forget.

or maybe, both didnt have affairs, but they only stayed with each other habitually, just cos each was too used to having the other around. in some ways, mankind is built to resist change. and so now we see them (you know whats next), hand in hand, smiling as they walk in the park, hiding the desire to know what could have been if they had the guts to venture.

maybe, perhaps, the love has long since vapourized with time. yet life is not just about feelings. the practicality of life sets in with children, money, houses etc etc. and in the end each of them knows that the best viable decision is to remain status quo, remain together. and that is why, we can see them hand in hand, smiling (well they had to stay together so might as well be happy with it. fake it if you cant make it) as they walk in the park, wishing deep inside that life wasnt all that practical.

so tell me, what actually are the odds that the old couple you see in the park, hand in hand and smiling, truly in that kind of selfless, obstacle-surpassing, timeless love?

2005-07-10T02:09:00.000+08:00

Nike Stussy Dunk Low SB
Limited Edition (72 pairs)
Out on 7/7/2005
Sold out

currently cheapest on ebay is 210
but the worst thing is that, its supposed to be for guys so the smallest size i saw offered so far is US9. my dream shoe!

grrr.

2005-07-09T03:37:00.000+08:00

am addicted to a new self entertaining hobby - digging up old cds n playing them at unearthly hours. after all, how long more can i fully utilise my stereo? and the reason why im saying this is... my application for Kent Ridge has been approved. not much elation though, perhaps has got something to do with size of the room. just perhaps.

anyhows, sorry chih lin for not being at indochine (wonder if you're there). but it was nice to meet you in town nonetheless. which reminds me, that shopping is seriously becoming addictive. or maybe its the guilt-free act of presenting your card to the cashier. with no cash, you just dont feel the pinch as much, if any at all. here i am, staring at my wardrobe n cupboards n whatever bags strewn all over the floor, knowing that some of them i'll nv even use more than once or twice...

i STILL like shopping. hahaha (: yay

i dont know why is blogspot still in chinese! the language function so doesnt work. meanwhile, just heard my recent 'ear-candy', think: ashton kutcher with dumb look with guitar. alright alright, think bon jovi instead -

i'll be there for you

these five words i swear to you

when you breathe i wanna be the air for you

i'll be there for you

i live and i die for you

steal the sun from the sky for you

words cant say what love can do

i'll be there for you

2005-06-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

as you might have noticed, blogging is becoming a bit of a chore, hence explaining my long disappearances. but not to worry, im still alive n kicking.

i think im in need of some new excitement in my life. there has got to more to life, left to be unravelled, discovered, savoured. meanwhile, piano exam n driving test is closing in, am undecided which is worse. oh and advanced placement tests for bizad modules, which i don't know who else is taking. i NEED something more to life.

why cant i just get away to some foreign land and spend my days in a nice cosy cottage?

or maybe a luxurious palace?

or a bustling city where i can shop all day?

or a quiet little town with nice neighbours?

i swear i might have split personalities.

2005-06-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

i dont know why, but blogspot's in chinese right now.

anyway went for dinner with pq, joel and joan at marina. poor pq lost her phone, which we sort of suspect is stolen by some guy who cleared the table. and im so freaking full now i need to puke. and dinner has already been over for like almost three hours. argh.

2005-06-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

been watching joel's dvds of the simple life. *echoes in backgrd "this hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks"* am going to get an overdose of bitchiness.

anyhows..

xtina: chih said you paid already! i didnt know you haven't!

joan: haha you're different! you probably can survive much better than i can!

peiqin: haha business n arts separated by (grits teeth) law! haha anyways, my slacking lifestyle is making me grow.. eh ask your cousin whether can get the california fitness thing la!

and on another note, i quite like the munchie monkey cafe opened by some nus business students. i realise im not talking coherently today. must be the lack of sleep. tatas.

2005-06-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

haha this entry is NOT by order from dearest princess melody. as you might infer from fairytales n whatsoever sources, KINGS do NOT accept orders from princesses. hahaha. esp princesses who still owe birthday presents. ahem.

am too lazy to blog about birthday. it was good nonetheless. love all of you. muacks.

as most of you already know, i've made the popular decision to.... stay in singapore. haha although still can change my mind since sch in aussie starts like next yr. well i don't know. its just overwhelming thinking of surviving there for five yrs slogging through double degree. and the thought of going there alone, COOKING, LAUNDRY, finding a house in the first place, i dont even freaking know how to plug a telephone line. see? im not ready i think. but its like, i gotta learn sometime right. sighs. alright, tell me.. does business at NUS have prospects? i realised that if i double law n commerce in aussie, chances are, i'll work there in the future. then its bye bye singapore. hrm. but education is costly man. damn.

meanwhile, since im more or less decided on staying, am going to NUS with chih lin tmr to check out n pay for the hostel accommodation. woo hoo.